• 10 Jan 2008 /  Doom

    Some things just must be posted immediately, because if I don’t get the word on this one out, it may be too late. If you’re still reading this blog you have accepted the fact that all of humanity will perish at the hands of zombies, robots, monkeys or some combination thereof. But come on people! Do we have to make it this easy for them?

    Throatslit-o-matic 3000
    Read more at Gizmodo or PostlerFerguson.

    Don’t miss the pic of the Brain Piercer, um, I mean, Ear Groomer


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  • 08 Mar 2007 /  Doom

    According to this BBC article chimps in Senegal have been observed fashioning branches into spears and using them to hunt with. They go as far as sharpening the sticks with their teeth and removing the bark and side branches.

    I know most of you read this and think “So what? They’re just a bunch of monkeys”. Well, you must understand that this is just the beginning. Don’t forget that many years ago, some enterprising caveman did the same thing, and look where we are now. Soon they’ll figure out the wheel, then fire, all of a sudden they know how to make steel. My biggest monkey concern used to be that an infinite number of them would get together and write Hamlet, now I have to worry about them building an Abrams Tank.

    This especially concerns me as all my apocalyptic home defense plans are based on the very real threat of Zombies, and to a lesser extent, robots (see previous blog entry). Defending against super evolved commando monkeys is an entirely different thing. Most notable is the fact that we live in the woods. This, of course, means lots of trees which are perfect for slowing down large robots or confusing lumbering zombies. But these monkeys live in trees. They’ll be leaping about the treetops dropping grenades that they made this morning on the house, it’ll be a slaughter.

    I’m going to have to make some changes.


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  • 30 Jan 2007 /  Doom

    I often wonder if scientists and engineers read enough Sci-fi. It seems to me that we seem to be so dazzled by technology that we are setting ourselves up to be dominated. And I think it’s going to be soon. I also think I have a good idea what it will look like.

    For example, take this nice little video:

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    Ok, robots dancing, cute. Several robots in a synchronized dance number, hmmmm, still cute, but a little scary, so now they’re working together. Um, ok.

    Now we move on to this one, which is what happens when you mix technology and beer:

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    Ok, so I know I’m not the only one that sees the obvious potential for destruction there. Notice the guys head is about an inch off the concrete several times. Still, it must be fun, and what’s the harm in that?

    And in this video, we see that the same idea as above has started to show up in amusement parks.

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    This is the final preparation phase of the robot’s plan. Watch that video again, only this time imagine them smashing the poor occupants into the ground or tossing them into the air. Basically the same video, but with more blood and screaming. Well, more blood anyway. Also notice that there are several of these death machines lined up like, …. um …. maybe soldiers. I’m sure that they don’t have legs under the ground.

    And if you’re wondering what this all might look like, just watch “Terminator” again, or maybe this Chemical Brothers video will be enough of a reminder:

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    Lastly I’ll leave you with a little snippet I wrote in our forum in response to the first video:

    “I bow before the Robot Overlords” he says while bowing deeply in front of the orderly row of metallic soldiers surrounding the leader.

    “I swear loyalty to you and offer my life and body up to your service, use me as you will.

    He bows even deeper, extending his hands to the floor, knuckles first, a highly subservient position. The precise alignment of his joints triggers the mechanism contained within his tunic to release 2 high density Triarum grenades into his hands. The rings fall directly over his thumbs, which he instantly extend outward to release the pins. He stands.

    Miles away a woman and a boy stand on the pad, a Ferrocopter idling quietly behind them. They hear 2 sharp explosions. A single tear rolls down the woman’s cheek. She puts her hand on the boys shoulder and they turn and walk slowly towards the copter. “Let’s get started” she says to the pilot as they board.

    Whether this is fiction or prophecy remains to be seen. I’ll be down in the basement loading magazines.


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